The Clammobile

Many of you are probably wondering, "What sort of chariot does a clam drive?" A question worthy of an answer, and easily done using the wonderful tool known as VAX Edit (scoff, scoff). While not possessing the godlike powers of GNU-EMACS (a way of life for some), VAX Edit is simple to use and fun, too!!! (If you're the type who should be locked up, and the key thrown away).

Once upon a time, Clambo learned how to drive. He was taught by a simple man whose favorite phrase was, "Keep it under 100..." Upon completion of this extensive course in driving technique, he was taught how to use the godlike vehicle known as the Ford Fiesta by his mother (who, incidentally, was born in Iowa), realizing that only those who have knowledge of the magical mysteries of the standard transmission truly know how to drive.

The Fiesta can be described in many ways, but perhaps the best way is to mention an award the car won in that far-away land known as 1979: "Best impression of a VW Rabbit." It was as if someone went into a Rabbit with a poor ruler and made measurements, quaffed a few frosty ones, then sat down to make a set of blueprints.

Names for the Fiesta include:

• FIESTA!!! (festive voice with Latin overtones)
•

Or, as Marco Castañeda put it, "Oh, so you have a party car."(For those of you not in the know, Marco is Ecuadorian.)
• The Siesta. (compliments of Hydraxen XXIII.)

And then there's the popular running gag:

"Can we call it Big Dave?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because that's not its name!"