Untitled Document

Papa Ian: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Which story shall I tell... Would you like to hear the one with the noble prince and the evil, Republican monster? Or how about the one with the poor, innocent farmboy and the lusty traveling Wenches?

I know which one I'll tell you! Would you like to hear the one about the big party at Shawna's House?

Clambo: Yea, sure, any story about Shawna/Paula is appreciated.

Papa Ian: You may have to help Papa Ian on that one. Who was Paula?

Clambo: Paula is what I call Shawna when I've had too many Clambos.

Papa Ian: Oho! Now I remember! Here's the story...

Part 1

One day Jonnie held a party at his house. It was supposed to be a real fun party, full of drink and debauchery. But Jonnie's father decided to be evil and have a heart attack the night before, so he stayed home and put a crimp on the party. Then the party split up. All the real EVIL people went to Adam's house, and the chosen ones went to Shawna's. The chosen ones turned out to be all the people that knew Doug. You see: Shawna wanted Doug in a very big way. So all Doug's friends got invited to Shawna's house. The rumor was passed that the party was going to be Dry.

There was an obscure man at this party. His name was Clambo. He didn't like this. Even Papa Ian was there, and he didn't like this either. You see: Clambo and Papa Ian were alcoholics. But then, Joy! There was going to be the brain lubricant of the Gods at the party. And it was good. First the Schnapps went. And it was Good. Then the Young's Rum was opened. It wasn't so good. So the cry went forth: "Where, O Where can we find something to cut this foul Brew!" And, lo and behold! Clambo did find a new liquid to cut this foul drink. He summoned forth the Juice squeezed from a Grapefruit and mixed it with this malodorous liquid and produced a slightly more potable drink. And thus was the Clambo born!

In its youth, the Clambo was a drink of a slight interest. But then, Clambo did something that may not have been too smart. Clambo tried to drink just as much as Papa Ian. Now, Clambo has just met Papa Ian and didn't know all the mystical and wonderful things about him. In short: Clambo did not know that Papa Ian had an Iron Liver. Hold on a sec, boys and berries. Papa Ian will be right back.

Clambo: Cool story, huh, Evan? I wonder how it turns out, will it be a happy ending?

Papa Ian: Boys and berries, you'll have to wait until later. Papa Ian has to go now. But he'll be back later in the week. Bye now.