Mr. Clambo Goes to Washington
In which Clambo reflects upon fatherhood and his early years

Back when Clambo was just a wee tot, his father used to wake him up every morning that there was a space launch. He would sit next to his father in awe of the events displayed before him. His jaw dropped open and his eyes were engrossed in the moment. You see, Clambo was born in 1967 in the "Summer of Love", and events in the space race were unfolding quickly in Clambo's early years. Clambo's father Robert is a physicist, always enthralled by space. In fact, he took the test to be an astronaut, before it was known that all astronauts would be test pilots. It was hopeless, anyway. Robert's vision is too poor. In fact, he can't see the bed after he rests his glasses on the nightstand.

There's an old story that Clambo's dad tells about his vision. When taking his physical for the Iowa Air Guard, the doctor asked him to tell what letter was first on the eye chart. He replied that he supposed it was an "E" because that's pretty standard, but other than that he couldn't tell. The young doctor excused himself from the examination room and went down the hallway. Clambo's father could hear him consult with an older doctor and say, "I've got a guy in my room and he's blind!" The elder doctor replied, "Just mark him down as 20/300 and be done with it." But I digress.

Like many fathers, Clambo's dad wanted him to share the same dreams he did. Many mornings they sat together in the small room reserved for the television, watching rockets rumble into the sky and men walk on the moon. They never missed a single launch. In fact, Robert once had a broken ankle and crawled out of bed to wake his son. Clambo's mother wouldn't assist, as she thought he was crazy.

So when the family went to Washington D.C. for a physics convention, they visited the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. Clambo thought he'd gone to heaven. An enormous building, filled with rockets and planes. It was amazing! Why, with these rockets, he could send clams all over the solar system! Of course, Clambo's family was interested in educating their two children, so they saw all the sights. The most impressive sight was the Washington Monument. What else would a child raised on rockets find impressive? And, like any parents, they took their children to the zoo.

Clambo's family had always gone to zoos, even back before he was born. They were an inexpensive way to spend the day for a couple pinching their pennies through graduate school. Clambo has been to some of the finest zoos in the country: San Francisco, San Diego, Bronx, and Washington D.C. At the time Clambo visited, the big attraction at the D.C. zoo was Ling Ling and Sing Sing, the two pandas gifted to the U.S. by China. Everyone was going nuts over these two ponderous beasts. The family even bought placemats of these behemoths, but to Clambo, they were dull. He liked the monkeys. Clambo has always been crazy about monkeys, and his favorite storybooks were those featuring Curious George.

But the family couldn't spend all day watching monkeys, not when the zoo had a celebrity. D.C. zoo was home to Smokey the Bear. But when they arrived at the cage, it was empty; Just a plaque and Smokey's hat and shovel remained. Clambo and his sister Kim were crushed. It was known that Smokey was retiring, and they had arrived too late. As the family stood there in the fading light, a pickup truck pulled up. Two zoo workers jumped out and retrieved the famous bear's belongings. Unceremoniously, they tossed his trademark hat and shovel into the bed of the pickup and raced off. That night on the news, they showed Smokey being deposited into some National Forest for retirement. Very sad.

More recently, Clambo returned to Washington. He had just finished his graduate course work and was searching for a job. On the way back from an interview in South Carolina, he stopped in D.C. The Air and Space Museum was the logical place to start. Clambo had not been to the nation's capital since he was four, but when Clambo walked in through the door of the museum, it seemed like he'd never left. Oh sure, a few exhibits had changed here and there, but it was still the same. Star Trek had its own exhibit, and so did the U2 spyplane, but the "Spirit of St. Lewis" and the Apollo spacecraft were right where they belonged. As he sauntered about, the ruler of clams felt young again.

It was then that Clambo spotted a young boy of about four tugging his father around by the hand. "Oh, daddy, let's go and see that!" he said, pointing. The father looked tired out, and reluctantly went along. Clambo could see himself at that age, dragging his father around. His father was probably worn out as well, but Clambo is sure that there was a proud gleam in his eye.