This story occurs about halfway through the first semester of Clambo's freshman
year at the University of Buffalo (UB), megaUniversity extrordinaire. Anyway,
the changeover from Student Union to Dental School was proceeding on schedule
on the MainFleet
campus of UB. A facade of old granite was demolished to make way for the adding-on
of the new concrete and aluminum. Progress is always good, especially when
it dicks over the students, isn't it? (Did I say that?) At any rate, the old
stones were placed in front of the only convenient place to dump things, Pritchard
Hall. Many undesirable things are placed there, including incoming freshmen.
It was about this time that Clambo had finally become fed up with the books
on his desk falling over constantly, and was wishing he had possessed the
forethought to hork (i.e., steal) a bookend from his job at the library
before leaving. What he had really been wishing for though was a holder more
fitting for his geology major status (a clever front, wouldn't you say, oh
true believer?). 
He needed a big rock,
in other words. One day he saw the waste rock tossed in a heap in front of
his building of residence and his wishes were granted.
So, Clambo simply went outside one night and picked himself up a rock. He selected a really nice rock: green granite, just the right shape (rectangular), not too big, and with mortar on only one side. The mortar was a problem, though. It was highly unappealing in the sense that it was an artificial construct on a rock that had been formed over millions of years by the forces of nature. Clambo had a geologists' taste of aesthetics, and he knew the mortar had to go.
And it came to pass that he and the fellow from Brooklyn next door did come to possess a hammer. Clambo took his rock and hammer outside one night and proceeded to bang away on the rock in order to remove the unwanted gangue. The work was proceeding well, with the mortar rind coming off in nice big flakes, when two fellows arrived and asked what he was doing.
"Well, you see, I'm a geology major and I'm going to use this rock as a bookend. I just need to get this mortar off it," stated Clambo.
"Oh, well okay, we're supposed to stop people from doing things like that, but since you're a geology major, I guess it's okay," said the one who he later learned was using his alter ego's middle name, Ed.
Clambo chuckled a bit and then said, "What are you guys? Dorm Troopers, or something?"
"Yea," said Ed, as he and his partner Scott ambled away.
"Well how come you guys don't have T-Shirts or anything?" asked the Clam.
"We haven't been given them yet," said Mark Kinsey's middle name, and with that they were off.
